A Quick Personal History

Legend of Zelda

My journey into gaming started with the introduction of the NES console into the house. My dad brought home the system and hooked it up in the bedroom, with the standard starter kit of Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt, one of the laser guns, and the golden cartridge version of The Legend of Zelda.

One look and I was hooked - winking like a jewel I knew whatever it was, I wanted to do it. And so began my relationship with video games. I was six years old then, sneaking into the room to play as my then infant sister would stare googly eyed at the screen. This year, I finally got around to playing Breath of the Wild, accompanied by my now six year old son. It was a full circle moment in many ways - one, realizing I have been playing some version of Link's quest for more than 30 years, and two, that this obviously wasn't a phase.

I've written about my own journey into games for ESPN:The Magazine in a piece called "The Legendary Adventures of a Fearless Girl Gamer."

I've also made a doc series when I was at Fusion called Girl Gamers in response to what was happening at the time. It's my first documentary and I made a lot of mistakes, but I'm still proud of it, especially as I look at my growth.



After about a decade and a half of being critical about video games, it is difficult to think of how to even approach an explanation of the space. So this isn't a comprehensive list by any means, just some things I am thinking about, people who I admire in the space, and some disconnected thoughts around some of the themes we discussed in class. If this were a proper syllabus or something, it would probably take me a month to actually put together - this webpage is about three times longer than I intended to make it and it's the Sunday before our last class and I'm still adding names and resources.

So think of this as a jumping off point - some random, unconnected thoughts to start you off and an invitation to dive into the conversations already in progress.

Gender and Video Games

Back in the day, the grand dame of gaming was Lara Croft.

The iconic character (who,for the record, is based on Neneh Cherry and Tank Girl) occupies a lot of space as THE iconic female character. While there have been many other women depicted in games, it is only Sammus Aran from Metroid, who can compete as a long standing female protagonist.

There are other women I can remember, but they don't necessarily have their own stories. Princess Peach, the goal at the end of Mario's never ending quests, has spent the last 40-odd years crying for help and daintily defending herself with a frying pan. Peach has never been a slouch (even back in the Super Mario RPG: Seven Stars Days) the frying pan was serious.

But it was still a frying pan, and it never inspired me to feel anything but vague embarassment. Other players feel differently, especially Smash players:

Zelda had a bit more character development. Though she is also frequently a Princess-perpetually-waiting, her alter ego Sheik gets to break out in Ocarina of Time and has continued to be a popular character in Smash Bros. In the latest adventure, Breath of the Wild, Zelda is even allowed to voice her frustration, with the memories players unlock throughout the game revealing her desire to save Hyrule on her own (mild spoilers):



And for a good while, that was it for female representation - Lara holding it down, Sammus in her PowerSuit, and princesses or love interests. Later, more representation would emerge in new genres and more advanced storytelling allows for female characters to shine much more brightly than their foremothers.

I had always assumed there were more women doing amazing things, I just had to find them. And thanks to the internet, I did. But it was more than just characters. Just like women were originally called "computers" in places like NASA before their history was overwritten by a new narrative, the same thing has happened to women in games. I still remember the thrill of discovering Dona Bailey, the programmer who created the iconic game centipede:



In the early days online, there were sites like Girl in the Machine, The Border House, and The Iris Network, but now those are digital dust. Those sites are gone and those creators have moved on to other projects - still, they are worth remembering.

Some sites, like Game Girl Advance, Heroine Sheik, and Offworld, are still around as an archive. The creator of Heroine Sheik, Bo Ruberg, has a new book out called The Queer Games Avant-Garde: How LGBTQ Game Makers Are Reimagining the Medium of Video Games. They also run a current blog called Our Glass Lake. There's quite a bit happening on YouTube and streaming channels that I am not as familiar with.

Race and Video Games

Eddy Gordo Awesome Throw


My father upgrading to a Playstation was a major life event and marked a transition from my cousins and I burning out game systems to becoming more serious competitiors. Back then, my frequent copilot and rival was my cousin Ricardo. After days spent fighting over everything from the last of the cereal to who got to hold the basketball, dusk would signal the end of outdoor time and the beginning of our nightly play sessions.

Eventually after dozens of ignored warnings, Dad got used to the fact that we wanted to play and started leaving games downstairs. The first batch reflected his opinion of who was playing - he bought games he thought Ricardo would be interested. (For the record, Ricardo is now an electrician.) I remember Dad intentionally buying me a Disney handheld game featuring Belle batting apples while a rose dramatically died. And while that was amusing in a Tamagotchi kind of way, my heart already belonged to the other titles in the library. Abe's Oddworld, Doom, Crash Bandicoot all received heavy playtime, but there was no game that would cause a fight faster than Tekken.

Battling to become King of the Iron First (and also trading punches over the controller) was formative to my development and also my worldview as a gamer. There wasn't any real divide between me and my cousin, outside of the fact that he mastered Doctor Bosconovitch and proceeded to annoy me until I learned how to counter floor attacks. It didn't occur to me until I entered the broader world that any of the stereotypes about gaming even existed. After all, most of the people I played with looked like me. But even if my friends playing couch co-op looked like me, the vast majority of games still featured protagonists that reflected the people making the games - 30-something white guys.



A major flashpoint for the race and video games debates was the release of the trailer for Resident Evil 5. A hotly anticipated release back in 2009, Capcom's planned promotion went awry when the reaction to the images of black death sparked an international conversation about race and representation. Capcom's PR teams were baffled - to them, they were celebrating a major coup in technical development. RE5 was the first survival horror game to incoporate sunlight as a major element of play, and they selected scenes to highlight the contrast between the sun-drenched streets and darkened doors and alleyways.

What never surfaced was the use of well-trodden imagery to showcase a white man (who in the trailer narrates his own antipathy for the mission) mowing through rows of black bodies, animated with superhuman speed and dexterity. In stark contrast to the ambling gait of the zombies in previous installments, the images were uncomfortable to anyone familar with the depiction of black bodies in popular culture. To add insult to injury was the introduction of the female lead, Sheva Alomar. Introduced buttocks first, her fair skin and British accent immediately marked her as different in all the usual tropes, while ensuring that any nod to cultural difference would only exist for titilation.

This was far from the first time and far from the last time that racist imagery would appear in games. It can be traced back to the sexist/racist/settler affirming Custer's Revenge (1982) where the player reward is to rape a Native American woman. And it continues to today, where Overwatch removed a character's special "spray" (think finishing special effect) in the aftermath of the #BlackLivesMatter civil uprising. The spray? A hangman's noose.(There is also an interesting conversation to be had here around colonialism in games, particularly civilization games, but that's another discussion.)

But this situation was different - for one, the reaction of the gaming fanbase exposed a lot of racism and brought many writers of color to the forefront of the conversation to explain how their lives had been impacted at the intersection of gaming and race. It was also one of the first large scale campaigns attacking women critically responding to video games. Years before the term "Gamergate" would emerge in the news cycle, a coordinated group of gamers ran a blogger off the internet after a coordinated series of attacks. But that incident didn't receive widespread recognition - Sokari Ekine, the blogger behind culture and styleblog Black Looks, dealt with the attack, re-emerged quietly, and continued her original mission.

To this day, the issue of race in video games surfaces sporadically only to disappear as quickly. Part of the issue is the speedy censure for anyone who speaks out against racism in games. Another factor is the sheer numbers of people who can make change within the industry. The International Game Developers Association's diversity report normally shows women being roughly 20% of the industry as a whole. But the picture for blacks is stark, normally hovering between 2-3% of the industry inclusive of Europe, Africa, Asia, and the Carribbean. This dynamic is even present in esports, a subset of games that are played competitively, where even with the widespread participation in gaming there are very few players of color that make it to the pros. The abysmal state of diversity in games still isn't a major topic of conversation.

Things are slowly changing. I really enjoyed this piece, "Replaying Video Game History as a Mixtape of Black Feminist Thought".

People You Should Know

Other Points of Interest



Books

Games - Love and War

I started working on technologies for healing last year after finding various resources that pushed me into trying to understand the relationship between video games and the industry of war. Turns out it was a ton. I gave a talk at the Game Developer's Conference in 2019 on this topic - if you have time, you should watch the whole thing but my talk begins at 31:18.

Some other reading, if you are curious: But the flipside of conflict is deeply thinking about how we heal from a hardware and software perspective. Some of this was the focus of my research during my USC Fellowship - next year, I will host a symposium on those topics. One of the bits I need to explore more is the relationship between love and war, affection and hate. I haven't started to deep dive into this but I'll start with my friend Lindsay's book:





Game Dev Resources



The GDC Vault - After a year the content is free and you can find just about anything you are looking for.

A few favorites:

The Design of Everyday Games:



Building a Paper Prototype for Your Narrative Design:



Death to the 3 Act Structure:



Beyond the Vault, there are various articles that also explain the basics. Just like with the vault, it makes sense just to play around with topics you are interested in and find pieces that speak to what you are currently trying to create.

This is a series on Gamasutra around the basics of building a game - I pulled out a few that are accessible to different audiences: There are thousands more things to see, watch, and read. (I'm currently alternating between The Gamer's Brain: How Neuroscience and UX Can Impact Video Game Design and The Publishing Challenge for Independent Video Game Developers: A Practical Guide). The idea here is for you to find something that creatively turns you on.

You made it to the end!
In a perfect world, this website would have had parallax stars, and the Konami code unlocking the AI Easter Egg. But it's still a 30 hour labor of love!

Easter Egg: AI Resources

I gave a little insight to my AI Background during Neta's talk, but to give a brief overview of how I got here...

I used to work at ESPN - while I was there, my tech fairy godmother introduced me to the Senior Executive Women in Tech group at Disney. I learned from some of the most amazing people in the business and was referred to the Disney working group for AR/VR. The two women that ran that group liked my thinking and asked if I wanted to join a new working group on AI and Machine Learning. I agreed and was introduced into a a new world. (A mentor also gave me a rough shove - he said that there was no money in AR/VR and if he was in my shoes, he'd try to learn AI.)

So I threw myself into learning everything I could about AI and how it could apply to the business I was in, piloting some projects with the amazing folks who run Disney R & D, LucasArts, and ILM. But I wanted to launch more projects and faster. Also, I hit a pretty big block - you needed to learn Python to really advance in machine learning. We started a little working group at ESPN pooling the knowledge of friends who knew more coding and R, but progress was still slow. So I left. I left and didn't think I could reasonably do anything else in AI/ML - what could I contribute, if I didn't code and didn't have a PhD?

Luckily for me, I met Rediet Abebe, one of the co-founders of Black in AI at the MoMA and ran up to her. "Are you going to join?" she asked, immediately dismissing any of my imposter syndrome along the way. Through being part of the Black in AI community, I presented my work, a project called "AI in the Trap," at one of the most presitgious AI conferences there is. Walking in the snow trying to print out my first ever academic poster was an experience - so was joining in on the coversations at NeurIPS that showed the major conversations happening around artificial intelligence and machine learning. (If you really want to challenge your perception of reality, this was my favorite talk on body knowledge. It's a little grotesque -and not PeTA approved! - but with fascinating implications.) But I was in an encouraging community of scholars and activists trying to change the future of AI. And while an engineering background and heavy PhD work is what is normally focused on (for good reason, this stuff is hard!), a lot of the biggest innovations while come from people outside of the field trying to expand and solve problems with the same technology.

We are all needed here, because the future shouldn't be determined by a small group of people designing from their limited experience. In the same way that Digital Love Languages asked us to imagine a world where the internet was designed differently, AI also needs that same thinking.

So my final love note is to share some of the things I learned from in hopes that someone will be inspired to take something they know and look at how AI is being applied there. The answers will suprise you.

And you can do it.

You're more capable than you think.

(At least, that's what I'll be telling myself while still trying to learn Markov chains!)

AI Stuff

The first thing I watched to learn about AI is this:



The second thing was this:



The best thing was this:



Here are some Indigenous scholars dreaming of new possibilites:
AI: a new (r)evolution or the new colonizer for Indigenous peoples?
Dr. Hēmi Whaanga

This is an essay by linguist and te reo Māori specialist Dr. Hēmi Whaanga (Ngāti Kahungunu, Ngāi Tahu, Ngāti Mamoe, Waitaha). Dr. Whaanga warns of the potential for AI and related technologies to be used against Indigenous peoples as an extension of colonial practices of exploitation, extraction and control, particularly those that displace a peoples’ understanding of themselves with a worldview that favors the colonizer. He discusses issues of data sovereignty in a technological landscape populated by AI systems existentially dependent on sucking up vast amounts of data on human activity, thereby putting Indigenous traditional knowledge and customary practices at risk of global-scale appropriation. Dr. Whaanga finishes his essay with a call to centralize Indigenous concerns in the work of establishing global ethical guidelines for the design and deployment of AI.


Here's a good illustration of how computers "learn":
As IBM’s researchers thought about the challenge of making software follow ethical guidelines, they decided to conduct an experiment on a basic level as a project for some summer interns. What if you tried to get AI to play Pac-Man without eating ghosts—not by declaring that to be the explicit goal, but by feeding it data from games played by humans who played with that strategy? That training would be part of a special sauce that also included the software’s unconstrained, self-taught game-play techniques, giving it a playing style influenced by both human and purely synthetic intelligence. Stepping through this exercise, IBM’s researchers figured, might provide insights that would prove useful in weightier applications of AI.

IBM chose Pac-Man as its tapestry for this experiment partly out of expedience. The University of California, Berkeley has created code for an instrumented version of Pac-Man designed for AI studies; the company was able to adapt this existing framework for its purposes. (Teaching AI to play Ms. Pac-Man is a separate science unto itself, and a more imposing challenge, given the game’s greater complexity.)

The researchers built a piece of software that could balance the AI’s ratio of self-devised, aggressive game play to human-influenced ghost avoidance, and tried different settings to see how they affected its overall approach to the game. By doing so, they found a tipping point—the setting at which Pac-Man went from seriously chowing down on ghosts to largely avoiding them.


This is a huge collection of cheat sheets around artificial intelligence. Don't expect all of these to immediately make sense - just look for something that makes sense and dive in there. The other things will start making sense over time as you go deeper into your own projects.

There's also the research at Data and Society, where I am on the advisory board.

Sasha Constanza-Chock created "Design Justice, A.I., and Escape from the Matrix of Domination" which is deserving of a deep read as we reconstruct our relationships to computation.

This piece is fascinating - it is focused on voice technologies but has some huge implications for how we understand language and what we are trying to achieve through speech recognition/natural language processing. Very interesting as well - when she recreated the study, the gender bias in understanding was resolved by improving audio quality but "racial" differences have remained:
This is a real problem with real impacts on people’s lives. Sure, a few incorrect Youtube captions aren’t a matter of life and death. But some of these applications have a lot higher stakes. Take the medical dictation software study. The fact that men enjoy better performance than women with these technologies means that it’s harder for women to do their jobs. Even if it only takes a second to correct an error, those seconds add up over the days and weeks to a major time sink, time your male colleagues aren’t wasting messing with technology. And that’s not even touching on the safety implications of voice recognition in cars. So where is this imbalance coming from? First, let me make one thing clear: the problem is not with how women talk. The suggestion that, for example, “women could be taught to speak louder, and direct their voices towards the microphone” is ridiculous. In fact, women use speech strategies that should make it easier for voice recognition technology to work on women’s voices. Women tend to be more intelligible (for people without high-frequency hearing loss), and to talk slightly more slowly. In general, women also favor more standard forms and make less use of stigmatized variants. Women’s vowels, in particular, lend themselves to classification: women produce longer vowels which are more distinct from each other than men’s are. (Edit 7/28/2016: I have since found two papers by Sharon Goldwater, Dan Jurafsky and Christopher D. Manning where they found better performance for women than men–due to the above factors and different rates of filler words like “um” and “uh”.)
This is super geeky but important - even when people aren't trying to be biased the data approach might be flawed:
Automatic systems are beneficial to society but as they improve in predictive performance, comparable to human capabilities, they could perpetuate inappropriate human biases. In the context of sentiment analysis (SA), these biases may come in many forms. For instance, an SA system may consider the messages conveyed by a specific gender or race to be less positive simply because of their race and gender. Therefore, even when it is not clear how biases are manifested, it is the duty and responsibility of the natural language processing (NLP) system developer to address this problem.
One quick final note. The military has influenced a lot of technology through funding and development and AI is no exception. It would be good to watch DARPA's perspective on AI particularly as they are such a major influence and funder in the space: